My last
4 days in AUSTRALIA before I flew out to CANADA:
Monday
night:
The last hang-out night with my original first
ladies - Renae and Danielle.
We assembled at Danielle and her husband Jarred’s
home for the etiquette-free pizza and pasta pig-out feast.
Danielle was still in disbelief that I was leaving,
and couldn't understand why I would want to move to a country cold enough to
give me frostbitten nipples. She was certain this was a real condition, so we
googled it of course. No such condition to support her argument.
Tuesday
night
At 12.30am, my inner nagging Nancy decided
I didn’t need sleep, despite my 8.15am chiropractor appointment and 9.30am
dental check. You're right Nancy, sleep is for the weak, what did you need to
tell me? :
Hey...um....Should
you pack summer clothes if you stay longer?
How much
underwear do you need?
Where did
you put your travel SIM?
Crap, you
need to call the bank...
Do you
really need to buy those Lorna Jane leggings?
You need
to buy thermal socks...
When are
you going to start doing your washing?
How
catchy is that new Little Mix song?...'hey, get your back off the
wall...da,da-da,la-la,la....'
Why are
you awake? You have a really early appointment in the morning!
Wednesday
night
Another
ladies only farewell pig-out feast, but this time with my fellow ex-work
mates/European travel sisters - Marisa and Bree.
Thai
take-away, Tim Tams and wasabi peas were on the menu while we watched Big
Brother - embrace sloth position now.
I asked
Bree and Marisa how they would feel if I took a lock of their hair with me.
Bree
wasn't ready to part with her mini-mullet on the back of her neck.
Thursday
Night:
Operation
- Pack your entire life into a suitcase without going over 23 kg - are
you pine nuts?
My sister
Jenna was the brutal voice of reason when it came to what I really needed
to pack.
"Amanda,
why on earth do you need a bikini?"
"Are
you seriously packing that top?"
"Let’s be serious here Amanda, you're NEVER going to read all those books."
We narrowed 356,969 items of clothing and other
miscellaneous crap down to only 2000 items
All
thanks to this one magical product.
SPACE BAGS.
Friday
morning:
In the
words of Rafiki from the Lion King
'It is
time!'
My
entourage (Mum, Dad and Jenna) came along to bid me adieu, but not before we
ripped my suitcase apart to sacrifice 3kgs worth of luggage to meet the 23kg
limit.
R.I.P
Milo tin
Top Shop
Orange blazer
Oroton
evening shoulder bag
My 'A'
Baseball Jacket
L'oreal
Million Lash Mascara
Revlon
eyeshadow
Neutrogena
face cream.
Knitted
scarves
OPI nail
polishes in Don't Pretzel My Button and Kiss Me On My Tulips.
Checked
in my luggage, swapped my phone SIM and took that dreaded walk to the departures
gate.
Jenna was
blubbering like she had just won Dancing with Stars and I all I could do
was laugh through my snotty tears. Mum shed her share of salty eye drops and
said 'you will be fine'
and Dad told me to 'be safe and be aware of my surroundings' (i.e
don’t lose your wallet and passport in a Starbucks)
As we
parted our ways, the last thing I said was "nobody die while I'm gone
or I'll be really pissed."
I really
do wear my heart on my sleeve.
The
flight was not as horrendous as I imagined it would be, I shared my seat row
with one other girl who wore techno-coloured tights and had special dietary
required meals just like me.
She was
gluten-free girl and I was vegetarian girl. I really hope those breakfast
sausages were made of chickpeas.
I was
able to take advantage of the extra seat between us and sleep in some kind of
yoga position which I changed every time I started losing feeling in my legs or
my backside. Damn those butt cramps.
Still
Friday...
Land in
Vancouver Airport.
Yay!
Getting
through customs and then the immigration office, only took a measly 3 hours of
standing in line while I carried a 10 tonne backpack that was slowly
disfiguring my spine into that of a 100 year old woman who once was a circus performer
with the job of riding around on a small unicycle with 3 bearded women and
dancing poodle sitting on her shoulders.
Note to
self: Find Swedish backpacker at hostel.
After
successfully picking up my two year work visa and my suitcase, followed by a 15 min train ride to Vancouver
City Central and a 5 min walk in the rain to that neon blazing Samsun Hostel I
finally, finally, made it to Vancouver, Canada.
Until next time, eh?
Amanda x
In other news...
You may
have noticed the new fancy pants photograph going on up ^^^^ there, thanks
to my friend Dani and her picture making business called Danielle Stevenson Photography.
As you
can see I'm standing on the beach with a snowboard, a sun dress and an owl
beanie. You may also notice my dress giving the illusion of a buxom booty. (No, I didn’t go to Thailand and
have cheap butt implants put in while sipping on mai tais)
If you
take notice of my 80’s wind-fan hair and the choppy surf behind me, we were
experiencing brutal gale force winds. This was strange given that the
weather was perfect off the beach, and was even more perfect when we visited
the week before.
So, no – instead of beautiful, it
was sand shit storm attacking our faces with tiny sharp salty needles.
During
the photo shoot we also had the delightful experience of seeing a flock of dead
crows floating around our feet while shooting in the water, and if that wasn’t
bad enough, my knickers were being flashed every 10 seconds to a group of
wind surfers.
I’m not
sure which event will mentally scar me the longest.
Despite
the asshole conditions, Dan was able to come up with the goods like I knew
she would. What a clever dick!
Dani put the finishing touches to it with some
fancy font and Jarred weaved his computer nerd magic to make Pluggers to
Powder the gnarly blog site I envisioned. That’s right, I said gnarly as if
I was bona fide cool person.
